Potty Training 101

By Kelly Early

“Mommy! I went to the potty! I did it! Can I have my treat now?” My daughter came running at full speed into my office, a huge grin on her face, hugely excited at the task she had just accomplished. My husband followed her into the room, Tootsie Roll in hand, confirming her success. I told her how proud I was of her, and that next time she could have a roll of Smarties. Her face absolutely lit up.

And that was only this morning.

I have to admit, when asked to write this article, I was more than troubled. I am not a potty training pro, not even close. I’m smack dab in the middle of potty training, still looking for the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. I have been easing into the diaper-less world for a while now. My husband and I figured that we had plenty of time, and we didn’t want to pressure our daughter to do something she wasn’t ready for. Now preschool is starting, and we have a deadline. I’m in the trenches, fighting the good fight, so why not write about it?

My experience with potty training is pretty typical. So far I’ve tried just about every method there is. First, I called around and asked my friends for their guidance. Immediately, I was given books, charts, stickers, dolls, suggestions, horror stories and assurances that it would be easy peasy. Quickly I realized that there is no singular way to go about this, quite the opposite, in fact. When I did a Google search for “Potty Training,” it came back with 5,270,000 hits!

After entirely too much time spent researching, I discovered that there are many similarities within the myriad training methods – similarities regarding the signs that your child is ready, that is. The methods for the actual training are seemingly endless. According to the information I found online, children who are ready to potty train will:

• Understand simple directions
• Show interest in the bathroom
• Indicate by words or body language that they need to use the potty
• Ask to have wet diapers changed
• Stay dry for 2 hours
• Ask to wear “big kid” underwear

My daughter is almost three, and has just recently shown an interest in the potty. Until now, she wanted nothing to do with it. That was the major reason not to pressure her. I certainly didn’t want her to be frightened of something that is an eventual necessity. I wanted to make this into something fun for her, something she could be proud of. We took a girls-only trip to Target, where she was able to pick out her own potty and big kid underwear. We bought a potty training chart and stickers, a bag of her favorite candy, and toddler wipes. I figured we’d have this figured out by the end of the weekend. After all, a friend of mine had her daughter potty trained in one day.

This was not to be the case. One thing to remember - and constantly remind yourself of - is that this is your child’s unique experience. What works for everyone else may or may not work for you – it certainly didn’t in my case. Even after the potty supply extravaganza, she wasn’t very into it. I realized that I was putting a lot of pressure on her, and on myself, to achieve success. The most important thing is to avoid power struggles between you and your child. This only leads to failure, frustration and a possible fear of the bathroom. We want progress, not procrastination! Most books and online sites offer the following tips for potty training:

• Begin by talking about using the potty to create interest
• Be excited! This is a big step for your child
• Have your child sit on the potty
• Switch from diapers to pull-ups or training pants
• Save rewards for when motivation lags
• Praise your child for using the potty

In the end, what seems to be working for me is a more relaxed method recommended by my mom (of course, I should have known – why didn’t I just go to her first?). After my daughter wakes up, we head straight to the bathroom. Then, after breakfast, we go again. Two hours later, we head back. After lunch: ditto. You get the idea. She didn’t go every time, but she did about 90% of the time. Each time we were successful, we cheered, danced around and made a big deal of her success. Seeing the look in her eyes makes it all worth it. Sure, this is only our first day with positive results, but I know it will be the first of many. We’re on our way to potty perfection!

Remember, I’m no expert; this is purely my experience and advice. I truly believe that there is no right or wrong way to potty train. Whether you buy a potty chair or just a smaller seat cover, reward with stickers, candy, or not at all, use training pants, pull-ups or go straight to undies, you simply need to know your child to know what will work. And most of the time it’s simply a case of trial and error.

In the end, your child will succeed (really!), you will earn your “World’s Greatest Trainer” gold star, and you can move on to the next big thing, like packing up the potty, books, dolls, and stickers for the next kid. By then you’ll be a pro!

Potty Training Resources

• Mayo Clinic www.mayoclinic.com/health/potty-training
• Potty Training Concepts http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/
• WebMD www.children.webmd.com/tc/toilet-training-topic-overview
• Toilet Training in Less Than A Day by Nathan Azrin
• Everyone Poops by Taro Gomi and Amanda Mayer Stinchecum
• The No-Cry Potty Training Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Child Say Good-Bye to Diapers by Elizabeth Pantley
• Potty Training for Dummies by Diane Stafford and Jennifer Shoquist M.D.

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