A MOTHER KNOWS
By: J. Michael Krivyanski

There comes a time in every child’s life when they evolve into a being commonly referred to as a teenager. Once a child has transformed into a teenager they begin to develop certain attitudes about life. One of the most common attitudes is that they alone are the first species of teenager ever to walk the planet earth. Not one human prior to the arrival of such teenager has had to deal with social pressure, image issues or frustration with school.

It is difficult to speak to a teenager as they will run screaming at the mere hint of a parental lecture. Should a parent attempt to discuss some behavior that needs to be corrected it is a requirement of all teenagers to look at their parents as if their mother or father had kelp coming out of their ears as a result of having seaweed for brains.

To counter the evolution of the teenager mothers have evolved special teenager coping skills that mystify even the most understanding fathers .

When a teenager comes through the front door of a house and grunts, drops their books and begins to speak in teenager dialect it is usually the mother who takes control of the situation.

“You didn’t do well on your test and you’re not invited to a party this Saturday?”

Grunt, grumble, sigh grumble.

“We’re not going to the mall just to get you some new shoes. The shoes you have are fine.”

Grumble, grunt, grunt, sigh, grumble.

“Now go and put your things away and come help me with dinner.”

Grumble, grumble, grumble, grumble, grunt.

When it comes to the aspect of relationships between the sexes teenagers conclude their parents know nothing about such things. What could a parent possibly know about what goes on between a guy and a girl? How could they actually know anything about relationships as they are just parents?

“I have no idea why you could marry Dad because he’s like such a guy.”

“To be honest I always liked that aspect of him.”

“But he does like guy things and acts like such a guy and thinks just like a guy. What is up with all guys being such total losers?”

“I take it the boy in your history class didn’t ask you to the prom.”

“I hate all men and anything that is male. I seriously think we should get rid of our dog Butchie.”

“There is a message on the phone from some young man named Charlie.”

“Charlie? Oh that’s great. Sometimes guys are so great. Don’t you think so Mom?”

Grumble, grumble, grunt, teenagers, grumble.

It could be the ability to remember her own teenage year’s that gives most mothers an insight into their teenagers. She knows that times may change but it seems that teenagers don’t.

“I understand exactly what you’re going through. When I was your age I could never decide on what I wanted to wear no matter how many clothes I had to choose from.”

“Yeah, but when you were my age didn’t you wear animal skins and live in caves or something?”

“We sure did and beating your child with a club was the way parents showed affection for their children. Let me hit you with a club a few times and show you just how much I love you.”

When learning to drive it’s the teenager who is excited and happy but the parent who is a little stressed. The child is thinking of freedom and the ability to travel without the need for Mom and Dad. The parent is thinking about insurance rates and the cheapest place for possible car repairs.

“Dad”

“Did you have an accident?”

“No, why do you always ask?”

Mom smiles and looks at her teenager after looking at Dad.

“Your father was a teenager at one time and he may not want to tell you about his teenage driving record.”

“Dad”

“Don’t ask about things you don’t need to know.”

As Dad leaves the room the teenager looks at Mom and also smiles.

It could be that surprise special gift, the understanding after a visit to the dentist or maybe even silence while a child pours out their emotional pain that shows how much a Mom knows. It’s having the coat ready for the child that always forgets to get one or reminding another child of their practice after school. It could be advice on how to handle everything from a biology project to a job interview that demonstrates only a small portion of just what a mother truly knows.

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